The Man with a Hammer or (Pee on Someone else’s Property)

Montana Part 1

We started our road trip from Portland to Bozeman Montana at an ungodly hour, we left the house at 4 am. You see the rest of my family was already there and we (I mean my wife and kids) could not wait any longer to get there. She took the first leg of the trip. Which was a great confidence builder for her since I always drive. Driving with her “brights” on the whole morn/night. I kept telling her to turn them off when oncoming traffic was approaching. Her reply well I can’t see as well. Let them suffer, I guess?

I finally fell back asleep, not long enough however. I took the wheel somewhere in Washington before the road started to climb and become twisty. We pushed onward. The kids were mostly sleeping. After driving through Spokane and Coeur d’Alane and getting coffee at a small roadside store we pressed on. Not too long after there was a call from the back. “Dad I have to go to the bathroom.”

Traveling with boys is not such a bad ordeal in this case you just pull over to the side of the road they go and you move on. We were on the road somewhere near the border between Idaho and Montana. There were no signs of a roadside rest area, if memory serves that sign we passed about 10 miles back said no services for another 68 miles. Great!

We were approaching an exit so I decide to pull off there and let him “water the trees”. The exit was not much and we followed the dirt road around a bit we passed a driveway and were greeted by a barking dog, I drove on a little further we also passed a Sarah Palin’s sign in front of another driveway. Drove on a bit further. This should be a good place, so he got out and did the watering and retMan with a Hammerurned to the car. I drove on down a bit further to see a Dead End sign. So flipping around and proceeded back where we came. Up the road was the dog and  a man and hanging from his hand was a hammer. As we approached going about 5 miles per hour I moved to go around him. He moved to step in front.

Ok I was thinking to myself this is gonna get weird. Well I slowed to a stop the guy sort of yells through the window “Merry F’&*%*&^*ing Christmas how would you like it if I came to pee on your property?” Sorry sir I says my Son had to use the bathroom. “Yeah I got kids too! These are homes here!” He goes on as his face is twitching in rage I notice the hammer moving a bit. “You know hundreds of people a day come here and f&(*()(ing pee here. I am sorry about that I say I got your message. He just stood there, with all that rage twisting in his face. My brain is screaming go now you idiot! I started to drive away, all I could think is if he stared to swing I am either gonna swing the door open and floor it or just floor it. All he said was Merry Fucking Christmas as I pulled away.

After we get back on the road my wife condescends “You should have ran him over, that is what I would have done!” Trumpeted by my son in the back Yeah Dad!

Well I reply we are all ok the rig is ok and all we had was a guy with a hammer cussing at us. I would say we are good.